Even though things are looking up for me, lifewise (BF and i are getting our own apartment, FINALLY, and I’ve been accepted into an educational program to start in the fall), I’m feeling a little discouraged about what’s going on with my money.
In my head I know it’s literally impossible for me to spend more than I make (even though I have a load of cc debt, I haven’t used a cc in almost a year), but it still feels like I’m not doing very well with this budgeting thing. I’m already almost up to my limits in groceries AND dining out, and about a third of the month is left. Not only that, but I’m scared I might be taking frugality a little too far, and I might be alienating myself from my friends. For exampe, last night I went to dinner with my three closest girlfriends, and the whole time I was worrying about how much dinner was going to cost me, especially since it was an unplanned expense. And, in terms of my budget, I was right to worry, because it was an expensive place. I only drank water and ordered an “inexpensive” meal, but it still ended up costing me over $30 (my friends each probably spent around $60! but they had wine and salads). A couple of months ago, I wouldn’t even have thought about the cost, and I would have been right there with them, ordering appetizers and sharing bottles of wine, and I would have been fine at the end of the night with how much everything was. And I used to eat out a lot more. But it seems like now that I’m actively paying attention to my money, and eating out less and cutting back more in other places, I STILL don’t have a lot of extra laying around. I know it’s because I’m actively saving around $200 more a month, and paying off a set amount of debt a month (whereas before I would have a target goal, but would adjust up or down according to my spending needs), but it’s still hard to adjust. I mean, I don’t want to alienate myself from my friends. But on the other hand, becoming more healthy financially is really important to me as well.
And while I’m thinking about friends and finances – I’ve always felt like my friends were pretty frugal, and that we all kind of had the same values as far as money goes. Now I’m kind of starting to feel like that’s not the case – I know roughly around how much they make, and I’m always wondering how they can afford to always be going out to bars, and buying new clothes, and traveling. I don’t think they’re in debt, but I don’t really know. What’s more likely is that their parents are helping them out. Which kind of bothers me. And it’s hard to explain. It’s not that I’m bothered by the fact that they get help, or that I feel like I deserve help from my parents, it’s just that I’m tired of listening to them disparage other people who might more obviously receive familial help, and I’m also tired of them acting like they’re so financially friendly when in reality they’re blowing tons of money on random crap. What bothers me the most about the situation is that they seem to exepct me to be able to blow money right along with them, and I can’t. Nor do I want to. I already had my times of excess, and they were not worth it. I guess I just wish that my friends would recognize that I’m trying to get myself into (financial) shape (and we HAVE talked about it, so it’s not like they don’t know) and stop expecting me to be able to spend money on everything that they want to do, AND I wish they would make more of an effort to do things with me that didn’t cost SO much.
Wow, I wrote a lot more than I intended to… I guess I’m just finding that it’s hard to balance friends/fun and finances, and I’m not quite sure what the right balance is.
